God, I thought I was so witty - The Daily Procrastinator. There are at least 12 other blogs at this host ALONE with that title. So there, Kate. You're not the only one who procrastinates. Doesn't that make you feel better? Good, now get to work.

So I'm living, if you can call it that, in Toronto, spending my days much as I would in Calgary - worrying about stuff I can't control. A great thing happened the other night though - Saturday. I was having a crisis, and trying to put some perspective on the whole thing, I thought, "At least I'm living in interesting times." Remember that ol' Chinese blessing "May you live in interesting times"? So I wrote that down. That night, I went to a clown show. This guy from New York, directed by Sue Morrison, and he was a pretty good clown. His show, unfortunately, was about nothing. Nothing happened. It was a metaphor for our lives. We're trapped on this earth, and we're all bored or scared or lost or hiding or whatever. Hooray. Like I need a clown to tell me that. But what a freak out when he says, "May you live in interesting times."

Okay, it's not THAT weird, I know. But hey - I don't think that phrase every day. I don't write it down to comfort myself every day. And I don't go and see clowns from New York every day. So, it made a difference to me, to the way I felt. It made me feel like I'm on the right path. As long as there is a connection from my psyche to the world around me, and the psyches of others, particularly other clowns, I know that I can't be far off. Or something. Don't you think? You ever have those moments when the exact thing you are thinking is confirmed by someone else? It's not that you need your thoughts to be validated by another person, it's just that it feels good to know you're not the only one. I guess. Or something.

To sum up - what kind of a blessing is that, anyway? "Interesting times." That doesn't specify good, or bad, or ugly, or beautiful. It's just... "interesting." Have there been any times that weren't interesting? Maybe the 1830's. They don't sound too interesting. You don't hear about them, not like the 1890's or the 1920's or the 1960's. But I'm sure they were interesting.

See, this is why it's been 5 years since my last solo show. These are the kinds of things that go through my head, and I'm sure they are interesting to no-one but me. See, there's that word again - interesting. What the fuck is "interesting"? What? I was interested in that clown, from New York, his show was "interesting." But it wasn't "good".

I leave you with that. My blog will draw no conclusions. Only ask pointless questions. At least, until I can find some conclusions to draw.